It all starts with the soil. If anything is going to grow, it begins with the energy that is available in the soil to begin the transformation. We will grow something.
(Scriptural Addendum: Transformation begins with the 3 things not created by Man, but of God: The Soil, The Light and The Water (John 1:3,4; John 9:5; John 4:13,14; Matt. 13:23).
Yes, as mentioned above, we will grow something. The question is, how will you use your energy and what will you grow? I use the word energy purposefully, because the “word picture” of our English word “energy” is seen in the picture to the left— freshly plowed land. New opportunity, new possibilities. Think of the potential you have within you to nurse a new thought into a new belief, and then a new belief into a new behavior. Think of all of the possibilities that lie within you due to the neuroplasticity of your brain, and due to the renewal going on in your heart. As the soil is rich with minerals, nutrients and life giving energy to facilitate the transformation of any seed, think of all of the energy that comes from your Higher Power, to change, heal and grow anything you put your mind to. The one challenge? Determining how we will use our energy. As reflected in our passion, our energy could be sorely misplaced, resulting in behaviors we never thought we would engage in. Today, just for today, reflect on how you will reclaim and repurpose your energy to grow something good.
(Scriptural Addendum: In this stage of growth & transformation, the soil is full of energy (the Holy Spirit - John 14: 16, 17). At this point, the role of the Spirit is three-fold. First, His role is to dwell within us, & in so doing, He prepares us, by providing aid, encouragement, help, comfort, counsel & empowerment, regarding how to best "impact the soil & seeds" (our heart and our thoughts) within us. Second, His role is “to come along our side" (like the soil does with the seed), to aid & provide fuel to the invisible (and often hidden at this point) process of renewing of our minds (Romans 12:2; 2 Corinthians 10:5). Third, the role of the Holy Spirit is to teach & guide us into understanding & applying the truth (John 14:17, 26), which simply means becoming free from living in a lethal manner (Truth is a combination of the words a [no, not] + lethes [lethal]). Reframing what Jesus said to men & a woman who seriously erred in their behavior (John 8:1-11), hear Him say "I do not condemn you, but go & learn how to live." The eventual & mature result(s) in our lives, as we partner with the Holy Spirit in this work, is Love, as evidenced by Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness & Self-Control (Galatians 5:22, 23).
Whatever seed you use will point to what you will eventually harvest. If the seed is good, then the matured product will be good; if the seed is bad, then the outcome will not be healthy nor edifying. If we wish to reap love, then the seeds we will plant, transformed with our energy are called love, respect, esteem, acceptance, honor, cherish, favor, prize, and devotion. Could you imagine how healthy you and others in your sphere of influence will be, if you planted these qualities in your mind, and worked to cultivate them on a daily basis? Two things: First, as with any seed, expect it to struggle, as it breaks through its own shell (old exterior/behavior). In addition, just because you don’t see the pod breaking through the surface of the soil does not mean the new behaviors (seeds) planted within you are not transforming. Remember that our Higher Power usually does the greatest work in us in the darkest moments of our lives. Learn how to “quiet your mind” and protect your garden) so the focus of your energy will be on the good seed versus the bad seed that impacts you. More on that below.
(Scriptural Addendum: In this stage, the growth of love is accelerated simply by gaining & growing in Knowledge & by skillfully applying what you have learned (known as Wisdom—John 8:32). Knowledge, or some variant of the word (to think, perceive, discern, inform, investigate, intuit, learn, respect, become familiar with, cause to know, etc.), facilitates awareness, understanding, comprehension, & wisdom, which are prime ingredients in development of love. Knowledge is acquired by being exposed to healthy data, stimuli, counsel, technique & models, that you observe, or, that you “reclaim or redeem” from your healthy behavior in your past. Redeeming healthy & practical behavior(s) that have been malnourished or undeveloped, that you know will help you to develop the appropriate expression of love, while also integrating new schemas of love, will assist you in the mature development & application of love (2 Peter 1:5 - 8; Ephesians 5: 15, 16). Being willing to learn, understand (via communication) and deliver the accurate measure and placement of the 5 Greek words for Love (see above), in addition to learning and becoming proficient with the “Love Languages” (Smalley and Trent, 2005) is the beginning of realizing your purpose and becoming fruitful with the right, accurate & appropriate measure of fruit that will edify any person who comes into your presence.
Each person has 7 primary “rows” or life areas in the garden of their life, in which some form of work will be done each day. The rows are simply labeled Spiritual, Cognitive, Emotional, Physical/Biological, Sexual, Social/Relational and finally Environmental. Each day, we use our tools (see opposite side) to cultivate personal and relational growth in these rows. Even though we work for the overall outcome to be the mature expression of love (mature fruit), we know that our growth in these life areas is process-oriented. This means that important skills such as self-awareness, gaining knowledge, being committed to the process of transformation, exercising personal responsibility, and developing a sympathetic and an empathetic ear are crucial at this stage of growth. Like unwanted weeds, learning to extinguish the punitive, shaming, compulsive and judgmental voices and behaviors affords us the opportunity to hear, integrate and grow (in) love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control—other “gifts” in our recovery from our Higher Power to us.
The mature expression of love (fruitfulness) you wish to produce in the “rows of your life” have to do with you working daily to cultivate different thoughts, feelings, behaviors and experiences in these areas. Ask yourself these questions regarding your 7 life areas: “What do I need to cultivate and what do I need to eliminate?...
1. Spiritually...with my faith, life, morals, ethics, and the cultivation of my spiritual empowerment?”
2. Cognitively...with my life philosophy, and the communication of my unique ideas, vision and viewpoints?”
3. Emotionally...regarding the safe and open expression of a range of feelings, which facilitate warmth, security, connection and importance?”
4. Physically/Biologically...about living a bio-balanced life, as evidenced by the engagement in health/wellness activities and other responsibilities?”
5. Sexually...about engaging in sensual acts that stimulate, please and facilitate sexual pleasure and spiritual intimacy?”
6. Social/Relational...about engaging in mutual, fun, respectful, and meaningful encounters to “re-create” and experience relationship?”
7: Environmental...about intentional, passionate and purposeful living to effect the world in a significant manner, one ‘season’ at a time?”
(Scriptural Addendum: Fruit is the visible expression of power working inwardly & invisibly (John 15:4,5). The production, authenticity & the “flavor & sweetness” of the fruit is the result of the character (Proverbs 11:30) & the power producing it (Matthew 7:16-20). Fruitfulness & maturity concerning Love is a reflection of one’s knowledge, skill, & the appropriate & accurate demonstration of the 5 Greek words for Love (nothing more, nothing less). The words are EROS (the Erotic, & all that is arousing & satisfying pertaining to sexual love), EPITHUMIA (accurately placed desire, craving & passion), STORGE (caring provision for one’s children & family, marked by healthy affection, nurturance & cherishing them), PHILEO, (love, as evidenced by “best friend” characteristics), & AGAPE (action-oriented behavior evidenced by the unconditional expression of respect, acceptance, honor, value, esteem, prizing, and devotion). Love is clearly demonstrated via the “5 Love Languages,” (demonstrating healthy Physical Touch, spending Quality Time together, providing tangible & valued Gifts, engaging in negotiated Acts of Service & offering thoughtful Words of Appreciation). Believe it or not, every person probably has a preference in one or two of these categories, regarding how they would like to be “loved.” Fruitfulness & maturity concerning Love is also a product of one’s diligent work in the 7 Core Areas of his/her Life, which if done wisely, will ensure that the person “lives as if he is recovering from an illness” (Luke 10:25—28).
The tools we use to grow love are many and varied in use and in function. We become aware of our need to have tools when adverse situations arise in our life (affairs, grief, boundary failures, etc), or in times of joy (spiritual conversion, newly married, childbirth, etc). The tools may be specific, concrete and “tangible,” but our proficiency in using them correctly is largely usually due to our awareness of the “intangibles.” Some “tangible” tools we use to cultivate love are: Affection, Changed Behavior, Counseling, Conferences, Church, Comfort, Physicians, Service Work, Self-Control, Spiritual Disciplines (Prayer, Reading [Inspirational] materials, Meditation, etc), and 12-Step Fellowships. Some “intangible” tools we use to cultivate love are: Awareness, Acceptance, Communication, Compassion, Co-Operation, Devotion, Encouragement, Empathy, Forgiveness, Generosity, Honesty, Humility, Investigation, Kindness, Listening, Mercy, Patience, Personal Responsibility, Becoming “Safe,” Reconciling, Repair, Romance, Speaking the Truth in Love, Thinking, Transparency, and Understanding.
Neglect, Isolation, Pride, Resentment, Schisms, Limited Insight, Abuse, Rage, Double-Mindedness, Strife and Immaturity all contribute to the failure of and destruction of any good work in the garden of your life. Overall, a lack of personal responsibility, a lack of partnership, and “squandering of the gift” (not working diligently in this season of opportunity) will facilitate the slow death of any row, or possibly the whole garden. Examine yourself—Where is your current focus? What recalibration is needed, in order to self-correct and re-engage in & complete this most important work? What is the payoff for continued neglect & self-care? All behavior has a function, and it is dysfunctional if the outcome is a lack of fruitfulness, love and growth. Can these dry fields come back to life? Remember, “NIKE” encourages us to just do it. Know that the Greek word from which NIKE originates means “victory.” Work harder, work smarter, just do it, and experience the victory that comes with your hard work. Cultivate healthy & focused romance, intimacy, touch, renewal, intercourse & commitment.
As with any work you do, you will need to take breaks. Becoming skilled at loving yourself and others infers that you will demonstrate patience. Being patient, which I remind you is a cultivated skill, originally gifted to you from your Higher Power, is like handing a heated liquid (your emotions) to another in a manner in which they could receive the content(s). Carefully communicating your hurt, pain, anger, hopelessness and devastation, in addition to your love, joy, hope, desire and passion, communicates your respect and your love to the recipient. The opposite of course is to grant yourself permission to throw the heated emotions onto the recipient (rage), which further complicates the development of love, & it creates unnecessary trauma and schisms. Wisdom, defined as becoming skilled at living, means we learn, practice and become proficient at recognizing when we are “worked up,” need to take a break, ask for what we need, responsibly contain our behaviors, demonstrate empathy, and become adept at delivering patience.
Imagine if you were looking at a picture of a puzzle. The “sweet and mature” expression of love is experienced as you and your co-worker have diligently and patiently spent your time, energy, toil, commitment, effort, power and insight to identify and accurately assemble the pieces of your “life puzzle” (up to this point) into their correct place. As you worked in the rows of your life daily (puzzle pieces # 1—499), and you have gained proficiency utilizing your tools (pieces 500—1000), you have transformed what could have been a barren, forsaken and devastating life experience, into something resembling a fruitful, functional and edifying grove. In spite of your weariness, your trauma, and your hunger, you persevere in your work, and in so doing, you “co-create” (pieces 1001—???) new experiences that are respectful, esteeming, edifying, empowering, and loving. Your commitment to work in the field of your life (lives), in season and out, until your work is done, producing empowering fruit (love), is nothing short of a miracle, and, is the word picture of “mature love,” (realizing how the pieces fit).
